| i dont have much to say |
[Jun. 4th, 2008|02:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | coldplay | ] |
its been 76 weeks since i last updated the lj.
too much has happened. im still alive. so thats good.
im sure ill come back on here and fill up a few entries with blabbly gook and emotions.
fucky town |
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| hey |
[Dec. 20th, 2006|01:26 pm] |
whats up.
(your answer her)
dang.. thats cool.
(yeah)
so its been a while, wouldnt you say?
(oh yes, very much so)
i dont even know where to begin..
(why not start out with the bad news..)
oh yeah.. well.. its the last week on the island. were moving to somewhere in the area. no good.
(that sucks)
yeah but my new job at rockfish seafood grill is cool.
(thats nice)
and my music is getting better. playing shows and what not. and the other band is getting serious. get ready for the walrus...
(ohhhh..kaaah... sounds gay)
tff, your gay
(nice comeback)
....
(....)
yeah so, i have a girlfriend. we've been going out for almost a couple months now. its nice.
but i feel silly for giving up on the original plan.
(you shouldnt say that)
i know...
(its ok)
*sigh*
(hey..)
what
(lets go rock out)
with....with our cocks out?
(fuck yeah.) |
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| hey stanger |
[Sep. 29th, 2006|12:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | room | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | world without an end - FIF | ] |
i havent touched this in so long.
i have alot to say?
i think i love someone.
but i can never see her.
and its very awful.
there are many distractions here.
and i am giving in way too easily.
i am letting my dreams pull me through the days.
too bad dreams are all false when you wake up.
reality is very dull compared to shut eyes.
i feel like im missing out on a lot but i am a busy boy.
my music is expanding.
but im spending way too much time doing that and maybe i should be out.
but the world is expensive and i cant always through away cash for fun.
even though i do.
money is such a shitty thing to worry about.
i have way to much to worry about it seems,
some say focus on now and whats happening today,
but thats hard when you have so much shit piled on your back.
i am a stupid boy for not handling it all though.
i forget and ignore minor problems.
and they bite me later on and i hate it.
i really need to focus.
i am losing alot i feel like.
i havent worked on johnnie blaze in so long.
but i have my reasons i guess.
with my rents splitting and all it kind of put a break on things in my life.
but it seems like it opened up new things as well.
its amazing how one person can have such an effect on an entire family.
once again, fuck bubba.
im trying to go to sweden in the end of october to meet someone.
chances of that happening?
im not sure but i really need to get out of here.
the negs:
bmw died.
bubba.
things that break.
descions.
work.
SCHOOL.
nerds.
bills.
the pos:
95 kia sportage instead.
petra mases.
greens.
adult swim.
gigs.
cartooning.
skating.
chocolate.
sleeping in all this week.
island get togethers.
peace, please |
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| fuck alot of things right now |
[Jun. 6th, 2006|09:17 pm] |
including:
splitting.
bubba.
flakey people.
friends who lie
c.g.
arizona.
rude neighbors.
being rearended.
being sick.
the chiropracter.
misery.
stupid movies.
shitty music.
everyone deserves a shit list.
watch me fall.
i need to get away.
this is the first summer in 5 years that i have been home.
usually im away at camp.
or in california with real fucking people.
awful.
my birthday is coming real soon.
and i think ill sleep in and forget aobut it.
i hate complaining.
but i cant do it on myspace. |
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| the grass is greener, after you mow it. |
[Mar. 9th, 2006|08:21 pm] |
ok so like, right now.
i dont know anything.
when i say that i mean i really have no idea whats going on with alot of things.
im not saying ive lost my mind and forgotten how to spell my name.
im just way confused about alot of situations.
maybe someone can write it all down for me?
or just say whats on your mind.
and for some reason i feel like shes avoiding me.
and its another thing to worry about.
but im still crusing.
and looking for someone or something.
its weird.
im wierd.
sean and i played at an open mic night at this place called coffee talk.
the first week we did it, we ruled. but the other night we messed up.
its ok cause everyone else there was horrible anyways.
the shears rule.
middleage burn out rockstars drool |
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| can ya hear me major tom? |
[Feb. 26th, 2006|06:10 pm] |
great things are coming my way yet ive never been so depressed in my life.
i guess its just small problems pilling up and i cant find a solution.
i usually dont feel like this at all.
today kinda just hit me a little hard for some reason.
work was awful. maybe that helped.
i came home and felt like crying like a bitch.
my head should be way up though.
i have you to look forward to.
and im anxious..
because i need you now more than ever.
i lost someone close to me because of silly things
silly things inwhich i had nothing to do with.
but its not bothering me too much.
i could probably give two shits about it.
if i ate enough...
i dont want to be racist. but mexicans dont tip good. and i hate that its true |
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| jeebus |
[Feb. 17th, 2006|12:29 am] |
what the flippin fugde is going on?
too many things right now are occuring
and its hard to handle.
i cant talk to her.
i cant see her.
waiting is difficult.
but i feel its worth it.
hey.
so you only like him a little bit now?
are the other half of the feelings flying to someone new now?
or am i still on your mind?
i cant help be curious
i wish i wasnt because too much is on my mind.
i cant wait for two years to go by so i can be out of here.
i cant wait to begin the life i have been dreaming of.
lately i feel like ive been wasting my time on pointless thoughts
im thinking too much.
i wish i could be worry free for five seconds.
i feel like i just need to cry to let loose of the stress.
doesnt work that way though.
life is weird
youre weird
i know |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 15th, 2006|12:55 am] |
id like to say hey
but im afriad of silence
id like to say hi
but im afriad of his violence
id like to know
but im afriad of asking
id like to help
but im afriad of tasking
its hard where i stand
cause im all alone
its hard where you stand
were both alone.
you'd like to say hey
but hes not fine
you'd like to say hi
but it was him time.
you'd like to know
why he left with out goodbye
you'd like to help
but you fall down and cry.
its hard where you stand
cause your all alone
its hard where i stand
we both alone
i cannot be the savior
i cannot be the same
i cannot give you his smile
but i can give you mine.
and all the things i love
will be along the side.
i cannot give you these items,
i can give you time. |
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| baked potatoe with butter and sour cream? |
[Feb. 12th, 2006|11:21 pm] |
this year is turning out very... unclear.
half good
half bad
lost the blazer.
gained a beamer.
school is starting to make me work.
this wednesday i will have my first 10 second animated short.
im excited to see how it turns out.
work is hard im not going to lie.
but thats what work is.
but sometimes you just want to take a dump on someones prime rib.
drama seems to drag me along even when i try my hardest to stay away.
hurtful things were said on both sides and it shouldnt have been that way.
im in an awkward situation.. and im almost 100% sure no one can relate.
and i have no idea what to do about it. |
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| and the cow grazes on. |
[Jan. 26th, 2006|11:52 pm] |
a negative event happened.
but it didnt bite me as hard as i thought it would.
sean and i have created alot of songs in the works.
its exciting.
really.
oh and then at work.
something so unexpected happened.
and im glad for it.
cause things are awesome.
and i met a longboarding beauty
and i skated tonight. and it was great.
and.. great |
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| i dont have privacy anymore |
[Jan. 15th, 2006|10:56 pm] |
venice was a good trip.
getting ready for school.
new school.
art school.
yay school.
back to work.
work sucks.
money rules.
still no car.
blazer dead.
losing mind.
missing something.
you know sometimes how
you feel like your on the upper hand of things?
theeeeen, you realize your not.
and you havent moved.
or when you feel like something
amazing
is going to happen.
and you wait and wait.
and you keep waiting because you know its fucking worth it.
hell yeah.
but then. nothing happens.
or it seems that way.
ive also been jealous.
but thats me.
maybe i should stay a couple feet away.
seems like your content.
and i dont want to ruin that.
i only say this because i dont know what you want.
one time.
i told someone my problems.
and he said "thats life"
but i dont think he understood.
when things are done purposely to upset you.
thats not life.
thats being an asshole. |
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| im lucky. and so are they |
[Dec. 21st, 2005|02:00 pm] |
good things and outrageous things have happened lately.
sean, kevin and i have started a little band.
we're called The Shears.
we like to say we sound like a mixture of the beatles and jack johnson.
its good island music.
people who have heard it enjoy it.
that makes me happy.
work work work
being a waiter is fun.
but its difficult.
im really stressed out about alot of things.
mainly because of the nuts shit that happened last night.
i risked alot for my friends.
and didnt give up.
too much drama.
then i got pulled over and was given a soberiety test.
not fun.
and scary.
i feel drained.
and confused for the most part.
this girl is a challenge.
but i love the reawrds.
yay inspiration |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 6th, 2005|11:02 pm] |
dear mind inside
hows the weather look like
will it snow in time
for the year to unwind.
can the earth rewind
all the pain we find
what love can buy
where the love can fly
why do you ask us why?
dear friend of mine
why do you ask us why?
only i feel alone when it comes to this.
a simple little wink,
or a simple silent kiss.
can you feel the vibes
that i see along side
the endless burning beach
where the seagulls sneer and dive.
oh oh.
can this love be tunred around?
oh oh
can the reset button be found?
oh oh
i feel the hated tumble down
oh oh
i wish you could see
the way i see now.
dear eyes outside
can the sun reflect the dye
that is poured into our lives?
can the evil of rejection pull apart our cries?
that we all try to forget
but our heart wont revive.
and then theres nothing.
no nothing.
nothing we can divide
that will save us from the lust
that turns us all alive.
all of these feelings building up to thrive
more and more and more and more
will this love ever retire?
you say you want to be pals
but i just want to hold.
youre all the grass i long for
even with the mold.
oh oh
can this love be turned around?
oh oh
can the reset button be found?
oh oh
i feel the hatred tumbling down
oh oh
if only you could see the way
that i see you now. |
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| i love unexpected things |
[Nov. 18th, 2005|01:10 pm] |
a funny thing happened today.
a simple fortune cookie changed my whole perspective.
and it ties in very well with my life.
to be honest.
all my fortunes have always been true
and have had some erie connections with the way things are going in johnny land.
i realized i was selfish
just wanting someone so bad.
and not giving up.
but i shouldnt be worrying about making me happy
i need to make sure shes happy.
ive been looking at it all wrong.
but now i ( see )
first day serving last night.
by myself.
did well.
no mistakes.
i ALSO saw harry potter at 12.
i liked it but was really confused
beacause they made really cool parts short.
but still awesome.
bought a psp.
best investment ever.
yay constant entertainment.
and i had jury duty today.
suck o rama.
major
now i have to go to work again,
but at fiddlesticks.
2-12
thankgod for the psp.
and the other thing.... |
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| sometimes you have to break down to break through |
[Nov. 14th, 2005|11:44 pm] |
training is over.
my new life begins.
being a server is more than giving food
watch the changes
I LOVE DAMONS
damn this job rules
and the girls
ohhhhh
the girls
yeah um good food too.
lady:
not ready
i guess
but when you look at me that way
you know what happens
dear snack pack pudding,
i looooooovve you |
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